Underestimated

This is a shoutout to my friend in hawaii! I hope you get your internet sooooon because i want you to read this! :)

It's funny how i think my ex-friends and other friends used to underestimate my uh "moodiness". In high school and even during my first few years in college i used to get mood swings. But i think what people always expected was that after a while, i'd be pleasant towards everyone again. I would like to believe that i was a very good friend to these people. Some though abused my kindness. Some assumed that i'd always be there. Some probably thought that i'd be their "puppy" and i'd always be there to pat them on the back and say "don't worry everything will be alright"; someone who would fill the attention that they lacked (*note to self: invent an affirmation machine and give it to these girls--excluding cc and pd who are still wonderful friends! and maze too though i haven't talked to her for a long time:)-with key lines : don't worry you look great! you're not fat! don't listen to those people! you're blooming! it's his loss!--which most of the time really isn't--FYI: every single time, the guys break it off. That must mean something :)). Unfortunately for my ex-friends, there came a point when i couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't be a "bdl puppy" nor a hilaw puppy (those who know what the hell i'm talking about should know who i am referring to, hehe). I don't think anyone could be (anyone with a brain that is :)). I think a lot of people thought that the "i realized what a shit you are and i actually hate you" stage would pass and i would be like i'm so sorry for whatever i said. And at the back of my mind maybe i thought it would happen too. But it didn't. Thank God it didn't. Because now, I still feel like vomiting every time i think about being friends with them. I still see the look of surprise when i tell my other high school friends that i still don't talk to that group. It's hilarious! I've always told them that they wouldn't want me as an enemy. And i don't think they believed me back then. Too bad though! :) Some people tell me that it's wrong to hate other people or to harbor such feelings. And yes, up to a point i agree. But hey, i am only human and i cannot help the way that i feel. I don't have a long list of people i despise but for those that i do, i don't think that'll ever change. I won't be a hypocrite and say it'll change because i know it won't. And i hope they get it through their thick heads already.

And it's soooo funny that hilaw asked my hawaii friend who he considers more his friend! Can she spell d-u-m-b-a-s-s?! Haha hilaw is so stupid. The slut that she is, i hardly think she'd have the much real friends :) Believe me, if she even tries to even slightly destroy my friend and his girl's relationship, i will make sure her world crashes to the depths of hell. Hehe. Too much? :) Don't think so :) Being able to say all that really feels good :) Imagine, i only think of them (CKLAC) and i really really want to smash my monitor into bits and pieces. But then i ain't that stupid because i love my lcd :) Hehehe.

Anyway, enough rage for today :) I'm actually glad that i was able to write something about that group because i've been meaning to and never really got the chance to. I knew that my blog wouldn't be considered complete without a real entry about them. At least now it is :) whoohoo :)


*today i am thankful for text messages :)